Half the challenge of relationships, whether with romantic partners, family or friends, is knowing how you like to receive love. For some, it could be holding hands and hugs, for others it could be words of affirmation or it could be having quality time with someone. Once you understand that people like to receive love in different ways, it can be revelatory. You no longer need to feel guilty about not conforming to some stereotype and you can start to understand others better.
There’s a great book on this topic by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages, which highlights five distinct ways people like to receive or give love:
- words of affirmation – lots of kind words
- quality time – spending one-on-one time
- giving gifts – reflects thought by someone, and acts a reminder
- acts of service – helping out with chores without showing off
- physical touch – holding hands and lots of hugs
There’s a quiz you can take that tells you what your language is. I took it and mine is “words of affirmation”. What’s yours?
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